A Day in the Life
Producer: Irene Litinsky
(Outside shot of the ship.)
Goddard: (voice-over) Our first priority is getting home. And to do that, I need those kids on the command post.
(Cut to the Classroom. The adults are standing face to face, arguing.)
Davenport: Commander Goddard. You need their physical bodies to plot the course of the ship.
(Everyone but Harlan enters through the door, who comes through the jumptubes.)
Davenport: To plot the course of their minds, I need them following my curriculum.
Goddard: First things first. (turns to the kids) Team, up to the command post.
(The kids all run to the door excitedly, but turn and walk back in dejectedly as Miss Davenport calls them back.)
Davenport: Class! Get back in here right now. We will follow Starcademy curriculum to the letter!
Rosie: You know, it would really be nice if you made up your minds?
Goddard: It is made up. About face!
(The kids turn and run off again, but get called back again.)
Davenport: My classroom, my time.
Catalina: Miss Davenport, Commander Goddard, why don't we schedule a time for schoolwork and command post work?
(Goddard opens his mouth to speak, but Davenport beats him to it.)
Davenport: A schedule! That is an excellent suggestion, Catalina!
(Catalina looks smug as Davenport talks. Harlan bumps her with an annoyed look on his face.)
Davenport: We can use a modified Starcademy field exercise schedule, as specified in Section Twelve, Subsection Three!
Goddard: I guess I can live with that.
Davenport: Good. (over her shoulder) Thelma!
Thelma: (coming up behind her) Yes?
Davenport: We will be creating a schedule, and it will be part of your job to help us keep to it. Tip-top priority!
Thelma: Yes, Miss Davenport.
Davenport: You will all find that only through organization will we be able to keep out of trouble!
(Cut to a shot of the Christa swooping close to the planet Fernaherna, then to the two members of the Planetary Intruder Squad sitting at their console.)
Jin: Hey, look! Unidentified intruders!
Pel: You're absolutely right, Jin. From the look of things, I'd say they were several hours away from our Prime Three security sector.
Jin: I conclude with your astute observation, Pel. Well, we'll have to have them blown up, then, don't you agree?
Pel: Well, normally, yes, but uh, they could be invited intruders.
Jin: Whoever heard of invited intruders? If they were invited, they wouldn't be intruders, they'd be invitees, and we'd be having them down for drinks and cheesy bits, not blowing them up!
Pel: Oh, yeah, right. But we'd only have to blow them up if the Planetary Intruder Squad finds out.
Jin: We're the Planetary Intruder Squad, remember?
Pel: Oh, yeah.
Jin: We have to blow them up!
Pel: Once again, I defer to your infinite wisdom.
Jin: Right. Well, (with finger poised above button and getting lower as he counts) five, a-four, three, two...
[END OF TEASER]
Narration: The Eye of the Future sees them. Five clever space cadets snuck aboard an alien ship, flung through a weird hole in space, thousands of light-years from the Academy. Will they ever get home? Or are they forever destined to be... Space Cases?
(Just as he's about to push the button, Jin pulls his finger away and up to his chin, thoughfully.)
Jin: One must ask oneself, though, is this the wisest course? Is this the civilized course? Pel; send them a message.
Pel: Great idea.
(He looks down to his console, then stops and looks at Jin.)
Pel: What should we say?
Jin: Let's see. Dear uninvited intruder; It may have slipped your notice that you have entered unauthorized Fernahernan space. We realize this could be a bit of an embarrassment for you. If you do not respond and identify yourselves and explain yourselves within (to Pel) three Fernahernan hours?
Cut to the Command Post - Thelma is speaking the message aloud as she receives it through her earpiece.)
Thelma: ... Then we shall be forced to blow you to pieces. Terribly sorry for the inconvenience. Sincerely, your future potential killers, the Fernaherna. Hmmm. Three Fernahernan hours would put the destruction at eleven fifty-seven and forty-two seconds. I should report this immediately!
(Green letters show up on the screen; the schedule: 0800-0900: WAKE UP.)
Thelma: Oh? I must keep to the new schedule. Tip-top priority!
(As she starts to walk away, Catalina lets out a sonic blast.)
Thelma: Ahhh, Catalina is practicing her sonic powers again!
(Cut to the boys' room, where Thelma is entering with the Gizbot. She crosses to Radu first, and we see that he needs to sleep with huge earmuffs on to muffle the sounds of the others. She removes one.)
Thelma: (whispering, close to his ear) Radu?
(He jumps up.)
Radu: Huh? (pulls off the earmuffs) Th-Thelma, you don't have to scream.
(Thelma looks mystified.)
Radu: But, uh, thanks.
(Thelma crosses over to where Bova is sleeping. She taps him on the shoulder, but there is no response.)
Thelma: (turning to the Gizbot) Cables, please.
(The Gizbot opens, revealing a pair of jumper cables. She clips them to Bova's antennae.)
(An electrical shock buzzes across Bova's antennae. His eyes pop open.)
Bova: Thanks. Some mornings, I need a jump start.
(Thelma goes over to where Harlan is all curled up in his bed. One of her fingertips pops off, revealing a feather, which she uses to tickle his face.)
Harlan: Hey, hey, what the -
(He sits up and cracks his head on the wall)
Harlan: Unnh. Ow!
Thelma: Good morning, Harlan! Miss Davenport says that it is very important that we all stay on schedule.
(Catalina lets out another sonic blast. Harlan and Thelma get shaken around.)
Harlan: Oh, is Catalina at it again?
Thelma: (nods) Harlan, you should know that -
Harlan: (holds his hand to stop her) No. Can it wait till later?
Thelma: Yes. It can wait until eleven-fifty seven and forty seconds.
(Girls' room. Catalina is screaming again as Thelma enters.)
Thelma: You are becoming rather skilled with your sonic powers, Catalina.
Catalina: This is nothing. Really skilled Saturnians can knock down a building with a single blast. Although it'll take me years of practice to get that good.
Thelma: Well, that sounds very impressive.
Catalina: It is. I was showing Rosie, but she took off. Something about an earache. Anyway, want to see?
Thelma: All right.
Catalina: Brace yourself.
(Thelma crosses her arms and Catalina blasts again. A small bottle shatters. We then cut to Miss Davenport applying her lipstick in her quarters, then to the Galley where Harlan, Rosie and Radu are. Radu covers his ears, and Rosie teeters a bit. We then cut to a shot of Commander Goddard standing at the central control console, which is rocking, then back to Catalina and then to Miss Davenport. When she turns around, she has lipstick smeared all over her cheek.)
(Cut to Commander Goddard in the Command Post, growling.
Cut to the Galley, closeup on Harlan.)
Harlan: Oh, I'm getting really tired of this!
(The two boys are sitting, and Rosie is standing at the foodwheel machine. We see the latest schedule: 0900-0930: BREAKFAST IN GALLEY on the screen.)
Rosie: I keep warning her not to overdo her sonic practicing! She could blow out a vocal cord or something!
Harlan: Yeah, well, that's one of the dangers when you're hooked on sonics!
Rosie: This whole food-wheel machine is so exciting! I always wonder what I'm gonna get next.
(Radu shakes some stuff out of his foodtube onto his plate. He adds a drop of some liquid to it, and it hydrates into some kind of bacon-and-egg-like breakfast.)
Radu: Hmm, I finally got something edible!
Harlan: You call that edible?
Thelma: (as she enters) Hello. A reminder: Class begins promptly at o-nine-thirty hours. Miss Davenport wishes to remind you that tardiness will not be tolerated!
Harlan: Not be tolerated. (he laughs) We're stuck in space! It's like seven years of detention - I mean, what more could she do?
Radu/Rosie: You don't want to know.
Thelma: Ah! A nine-second gap in the schedule! Time enough to inform you about the Fernaherna...
(Catalina blasts again. Radu puts his hands over his ears. Plates fall off of the walls.)
Harlan: Oh, boy. What a day. What a day! And it just started! Okay. Thelma, what?
(Latest schedule on the screen: 0930-1130: CLASS)
Thelma: Oops! Sorry. No time.
(She turns and leaves.
Cut to outside shot, then Jin and Pel in their Air Traffic Control Station.)
Jin: Well, this is a fine how-do-you-do. We give them the opportunity to save their necks and they ignore us. That's it then, if we don't hear from them soon, they're spacedust.
Pel: They'll probably hold it against us.
Jin: What, after they're dead?
Pel: Well, yeah, sure, not before that, certainly.
Jin: Pel, if they're dead, they won't care.
Pel: Oh, yeah, I never thought of it that way.
Jin: You know, blowing them up could be really dramatic and exciting. A big event in an otherwise boring day.
Pel: Yeah, blowing them up could be a real highlight of the week.
(Cut to the classroom. Davenport is teaching class. The kids are seated behind her.)
Davenport: During our trip back, each of you will be assigned to important posts on the Christa.
Harlan: Great! I want to be captain and run the ship, like my dad.
Catalina: Harlan, I - (coughs, then hoarsely) - I think I'm a little bit more qualified than you. My grades are better, and plus (her voice clears) Suzee and I are both engineering geniuses.
Davenport: Catalina, what is wrong with your voice?
Catalina: Nothing. It's just, I have to build up strength - don't worry. I know what I'm doing.
Rosie: I know a good throat remedy, Cat. Say - maybe I could become a medical officer!
Bova: I'll be in charge of mess!
Davenport: You mean food.
Bova: That, too.
Davenport: To help the commander and I determine your posts, one of your assigments will be to keep a journal. Record important thoughts of the day. It will help us, and you, define what you are best suited to.
Catalina: Suzee too?
Davenport: No, Suzee's exempt. Catalina, we will have to have a long talk about "Suzee."
(Davenport does the "finger quotes" gesture. Catalina gives her a dirty look.)
Radu: Uh, Miss Davenport? What kind of uh, important thoughts are we supposed to record?
Davenport: Well, like this. This is a sample of mine.
(We see her typing on her compupad.)
Davenport: Screen on!
(The screen has a picture of Miss Davenport on it, talking.)
Davenport's picture: Journal of T. J. Davenport; Fifth day of our voyage. I am hoping our new schedule will instill discipline in the students. By doing so, I believe it will raise them above their current status as misfits, underachieving space cases, and bring them to a more acceptable level of performance. Even Harlan!
Harlan: Thanks for the thought!
(Cut to the Boys' Room. Harlan is walking around, speaking into his journal. The latest schedule shows on screen - 1100-1200: FREE STUDY.)
Harlan: So I try hard not to constantly be the first one to give the answer in class. Of course, I have an unfair advantage. I've studied space since I was a baby.
(Cut to Thelma in the Corridor.)
Thelma: I will be trying to keep my own journal of my life, which is problematic, since I am not alive. But, I am a human-emulating machine. Emulating humans is what I do best.
(Cut to Radu, starting to enter the Boys' Room.)
Harlan: - being the son of a legendary STARDOG -
(He looks up and sees Radu standing there.)
Harlan: Do you mind?
(Radu leaves. Harlan looks annoyed, then goes back to his journal.
Cut to Radu walking down a Corridor.)
Radu: I know why uh, Harlan has problems with Andromedans. Catalina found out and told me. Harlan's uh, dad was killed by Andromedans - my people - during the war. But that was years ago and we're at peace now. It just, just seems like I'm always on shaky ground with him.
(We see Catalina in the Girls' Room, letting out another sonic blast. Cut to Harlan and Radu being tossed around, as they speak.)
(Back to the Girls' Room.)
Catalina: Now that sounded great. A little tingling, but you have to work through the pain. (to the empty air in front of her) That's what my folks used to tell me, Suzee. Sometimes I miss them so much - I can't even tell you how much. It's a good thing you're here, or I'd have gone nuts.
(Cut to Commander Goddard entering the Command Post. Harlan and Radu are already inside. Goddard walks over to them as he speaks.)
Goddard: I appreciate the hand, gentlemen. Especially considering this is coming from your free study time.
Harlan: Oh, giving up free studying! Ah. What a sacrifice!
(Catalina blasts again, as Thelma comes in.)
Thelma: (while Catalina's blasting) The planet Fernaherna is going to blow us out of space unless we respond to their warning.
Goddard: Okay, that's it! Thelma.
Thelma: Yes, Commander?
Goddard: (jumps, startled) Go find Catalina. Tell her to knock off the sonic practicing before she shakes the ship apart!
(Thelma leaves, and Commander Goddard takes his jacket off.)
Goddard: Okay, Radu. Lift it.
(Radu lifts the central command console.
Cut to the the Fernaherna Air Traffic Control.)
Jin: This is going to hurt us far more than it will them.
Jin: No! Of course not! I just said that to spare your feelings. I know how sensitive you are.
Pel: Oh. You're a really good person, Jin, you know that, you really are.
Jin: Well, kaboom it is, then.
(Jin pushes the button to launch the missiles.
Cut to the Team Room. Rosie is carrying something pink in a beaker over to Catalina.)
Rosie: Try this.
(She gives the beaker to Catalina, who tries whatever's inside and spits it out.)
Rosie: Maybe it needs more sulfur.
Thelma: (as she enters) Catalina, Commander Goddard has asked you to stop your sonic practicing.
Rosie: Not a problem, Thelma. She blew out her vocal cords. I made her some throat medicine, if she'll take it.
(The latest schedule, 1200: LUNCH shows up on the screen.)
Thelma: Ah, twelve hundred hours! Time for lunch!
Rosie: My turn to help set it out, right, Thelma?
(Thelma nods and Rosie leaves.)
Thelma: You, too, Catalina. The schedule is tip-top priority.
(Catalina mouths "I'm not hungry.")
Thelma: You're not hungry. (Catalina nods) Oh, well. It may not matter very much, because as you can see - screen on -
(We see the Fernahernan missiles coming toward the ship.)
Thelma: - when the Fernaherna blow us out of space with their missiles, I doubt anyone will be very hungry. Or alive.
(Thelma leaves the room. Catalina has a horrified look on her face as she watches the missiles getting closer.)
[END OF ACT ONE]
(Command post. Radu is still holding up the console, while Commander Goddard is working underneath. Harlan is squatting, watching him work. We hear an alarm start to go off.)
Harlan: Hey, that sounds like some kind of alarm.
Goddard: It's probably something I did. Check the monitor, Band. See if there's anything out there.
Harlan: (stands up) Screen on!
(The screen shows the 2 missiles coming closer.)
Harlan: Oh, oh, yeah, there's something out there, all right!
Radu: We're under attack!
Goddard: Go to your posts.
(Radu and Harlan both go to their posts, and we cut to an outside shot of the missiles bearing down on the ship, then back to inside.)
Radu: Take us to X-axis nineteen degrees!
Harlan: Look, Mr. So-Called Navigator, if you're wrong about this -
Goddard: (rushing over to the helm and looking right in Harlan's face) Do it.
Harlan: Aye, sir, if you say so.
Goddard: The missiles are still tracking us. Radu, raise the shields!
Radu: (going over to the weapons console) How do I do that?
Goddard: I don't know!
(Cut to a shot of Bova in the Galley sprinkling chocolate chips on green pudding-like substance. Miss Davenport is standing with arms folded, obviously waiting for something.)
Davenport: Time please, Thelma.
Thelma: It is twelve oh-five, Miss Davenport.
Davenport: Mm-hmm. Five minutes late. What good is a schedule if people don't stick to it? (to Bova and Rosie) All right, then, you may start eating.
Rosie: You really don't think we should wait, Miss Davenport?
Davenport: (sitting down) Absolutely not. They chose to be late. Actions, Rosie, have consequences.
(The ship shudders and Miss Davenport lands face-down in her food.
Cut to Harlan, Radu and Commander Goddard in the Command Post, where Goddard and Harlan are getting tossed around. Sparks are flying everywhere.
Cut to the galley, where Miss Davenport is lifting her face out of her food.)
Bova: Will you be wanting seconds?
Davenport: (wiping her face with a napkin) Catalina's practicing has gotten completely out of control.
Rosie: But her voice is gone! She couldn't have -
Goddard: (over intercom) All hands! We're under attack! Stay put until you receive further notice. Goddard out.
(Back to the Command post.)
Goddard: The last one nailed us head-on. If you hadn't of found the shield controls just in time, Mr. Radu, we'd be dust. Good work.
Harlan: It looks like the attack has stopped for the moment. But there may be more coming!
Goddard: Why are they attacking us? Why is this happening?
(Catalina comes out of the tubes.)
Goddard: Cat! I thought I told everybody to stay -
(Catalina waves at him frantically.)
Goddard: Never mind that, obviously you know something about this!
(Harlan walks over, as she pats her throat.)
Harlan: Oh, great, now she blew her vocal cords!
(Catalina continues to motion, tapping her wrist with her index and middle fingers, then holding her index finger up in the air.)
Goddard: Charades? Oh, this is insane...
(Catalina looks upset.)
Goddard: Okay, Cat.
(Catalina holds up her index finger.)
Goddard: One word -
(Catalina taps her wrist with her index and middle fingers.)
Goddard: - two syllables.
(Catalina holds up her index finger again.)
Goddard: First syllable -
(Catalina points to her nose.)
Harlan: Nose hair! A stink bomb, a shoehorn!
Goddard: Will you let her get started! Okay, first syllable -
(Catalina holds her hand up to her ear.)
Goddard: - sounds like -
(Catalina taps her nose.)
Harlan: It is nose hair!
(Catalina starts making sniffing motions.)
Goddard: Nose. Nostril.
Radu: Uh, smell!
Radu: Sounds like smell!
(Catalina jumps up and down gleefully.)
Harlan: I was gonna say that! I was gonna say that.
(Everyone looks at him dubiously. Catalina holds up her index and middle finger.)
Goddard: Second syllable sounds like - (she pretends to laugh) Laugh. Uh, ha ha. Uh, haha? Haha? (pauses) Thelma!
Thelma: (coming up to his shoulder out of nowhere) Yes?
(Commander Goddard jumps again.
Cut to the Galley. Miss Davenport dabs at her face with a towel.)
Davenport: Where did Thelma go?
Rosie: She was here a minute ago.
Davenport: The ship is under attack. We all might be dead in a moment. Why would the commander want us staying down here?
Bova: Maybe he thinks some of us will panic and be a distraction.
Davenport: (panicking) Why would he think that?
(Back to the Command Post.)
Thelma: And so, in order to stick to the new schedule, I was unable to deliver the message from the Fernaherna.
Goddard: You mean you were so busy obsessing about a schedule you failed to give us a life-and-death message? Thelma, you've got to have priorities.
Thelma: All right, Commander. When should I schedule them for?
Harlan: Thelma, could you transmit a message to the Fernaherna? Explain it was all a mistake!
Radu: Before they blow us to little pieces?
Thelma: Oh, I can tell them. But do you think they will listen?
Goddard: Tell them, Thelma. Tell them now.
Thelma: Certainly, Commander.
(The Fernaherna Air Traffic Control Station.)
Jin: You have to give our target credit. They're nimble little devils.
Pel: They are.
Jin: You have to admire them, really.
Jin: You have to give them a pat on the back, say, 'Well done, lads!'
Pel: You do.
Jin: You have to blow them to free-floating atoms with the Super Anti-Intruder Attack Missiles.
Pel: Do we really? I mean, those are expensive missiles. We miss, we'll get yelled at.
Jin: Well, then, we'd better not miss. Super Anti-Intruder Attack Missiles launched.
(They push the launch button.)
Jin: That's it, then. Even if they contact us now, apologizing profusely, they haven't got a prayer.
(A little noise sounds, and they both look down at the console.)
Pel: Jin, look! It's them. They're contacting us and apologizing profusely.
Jin/Pel: (looking at each other) Eeewww.
(Outside shot of Fernahernan planet, with missiles coming.
Cut to the Command post. Latest schedule - 1230-1400: COMMAND POST TRAINING.)
Goddard: (talking to Jin and Pel on the screen) So, we're very sorry about the misunderstanding. It's our fault for not responding in time. We'll make repairs and continue on our way. Thanks for understanding.
Pel: That's not a problem. Let bygones be bygones and all that.
Jin: But, there's just one more little thing. Bit of a drag, really. You see, just before we received your message, a mere seconds; two, three tops, we launched our Super Anti-Intruder Attack Missiles at you.
Pel: Yeah, they can't be turned back.
Jin: They will destroy you.
Pel: The good news is, we'll remember you fondly.
Jin: We will.
(The screen goes back to showing the wall.)
Thelma: My, what polite killers!
(Cut to an outside shot of missiles, then back to the Command Post.)
Goddard: You're keeping us one step ahead of the missiles, but they're gaining.
(We see Catalina gulping down throat medicine.)
Radu: Harlan, three degrees starboard.
Harlan: Okay! If only there was some way to lose `em! Mess up their tracking system!
(Catalina starts waving frantically again.)
Harlan: Oh, here we go again!
Goddard: Okay, it's -
(Catalina flashes ten fingers three times, then seven fingers.)
Goddard: - thirty-seven words long?!
(Catalina holds up her index finger.)
Goddard: (sighs) Okay, first word.
(Catalina holds her hand up to her ear.)
Goddard: Sounds like -
(Catalina points to her eye.)
Goddard: - eye. My!
(Catalina shakes her head.
(Catalina shakes her head again.)
(Catalina shakes her head yet again.)
(Catalina nods and waves happily.)
Thelma: Try opening a direct frequency link with the missiles' tracking system so you can use a sonic blast to interfere with the harmonics of the guidance programming, forcing the missiles to lose their tracking lock on us?
(Everyone looks amazed.)
Harlan: I was gonna say that.
Goddard: It's worth a try, Thelma.
(Thelma puts her finger into the message console and puts her hand up to her ear. Radu covers his ears. Goddard braces himself on the helm, and Catalina blasts. We see Radu looking up at the screen, and then the missiles going toward them again. Then we cut to a shot of the Galley, with food coming out of the food-wheel machine at a hundred miles an hour and Miss Davenport, Rosie, and Bova trying to catch it. Then cut back to the Command Post as Catalina finishes her blast.)
Harlan: Look, it's working!
(The missiles bypass the ship and crash into each other.)
Harlan: Yeah! Whoo!
(He throws his hands up in the air excitedly.)
Catalina: I did it! I did it!
(Everyone on the Command Post hugs each other and pats each other's backs, and celebrates in general.
Cut to an outside shot of the Christ flying off into space.
Cut to the Boys' room, then the Girls' room. It keeps going back and forth as Harlan and Catalina talk. Latest schedule: 2200: LIGHTS OUT.)
Harlan: (sitting on his bed) Journal of Harlan Band, finishing today's entry. Well, this was a great day, because I saved it.
Catalina: (sitting on her bed) Journal of Catalina, finishing today's entry. Well, this was a great day.
Harlan: If it hadn't been for my being at the helm -
Catalina: If it hadn't been for my sonic powers -
Harlan: We'd be dead.
Catalina: We'd be dead.
Harlan: But instead, thanks to me -
Catalina: But instead, thanks to me -
Harlan: (looks back at Radu and Bova asleep) - we're safe.
Catalina: - we're safe.
(Each shuts off their CompuPad and pulls up their blanket.)
Catalina: Lights -
Harlan: Lights -
Catalina: - out.
Harlan: - out.
(The lights go out in both rooms as Harlan and Catalina settle off to sleep.)
This page created on February 15th, 2001.