Desperately Seeking Suzee
Producer: Irene Litinsky
(Shot of the ship outside as a comet whirls by. Cut to the Engine Room. The three boys and Commander Goddard are entering.)
Goddard: Let's go, gentlemen.
Harlan: You know, this is really a job for Catalina. I mean, she's the engineering genius.
Bova: Thought it was Suzee - her invisible friend.
Goddard: Her imaginary friend?
Harlan: (as they approach the processor) Watching her talk to thin air like that - ooh, it's creepy.
Bova: You keep listening for Suzee too, huh?
Harlan: I think it's all a joke. She's putting us on!
Radu: You'd better not say that where Catalina can hear you. You know what she'd say.
(Team Room. Catalina is arguing as Thelma and Rosie play Minbar Chess, and Miss Davenport enters.)
Catalina: I hate it when you say things like that! Oh, you think you know everything, don't you? No, you did not, Suzee! I saw it first, and I get to name it!
Davenport: What is going on in here?
Catalina: I was on watch, so I get to name the comet!
Rosie: Another argument with Suzee.
Catalina: (in Miss Davenport's direction) Oh, what do you know, anyway?
(Catalina looks horrified as she realizes what she's done.)
Davenport: I beg your pardon, young lady!
Catalina: Not you, Miss Davenport. Suzee. She's being really impossible today, you know. You can't believe it!
Davenport: What's it about this time?
Catalina: Well, it's about this comet that I discovered. I did! Well, I was on watch, so I get to name it. But Suzee here, says that she saw it first.
Davenport: Yes, well, we all know about your comet. You've been talking about nothing else ever since you discovered it. Now, I think it is a wonderful educational opportunity. I have asked Commander Goddard for an immediate course correction to take us in for a closer look.
Rosie: That's a great idea! Then everybody can see the comet that -
Catalina: - I found! No, you did not, Suzee! I wish you would just go away, and leave me alone!
(She pauses, then looks around, confused.)
Thelma: Oh, what did she say?
Catalina: Nothing at all. She's - she's gone.
[END OF TEASER]
Narration: The Eye of the Future sees them. Five clever space cadets, snuck aboard an alien ship, flung through a weird hole in space, thousands of light-years from the Academy. Yeah, it seemed like a good idea at the time, but will they ever get home? Or are they forever destined to be... Space Cases?
(Outside shot, then cut to the boys and Commander Goddard still in the Engine Room. The three boys are working while Commander Goddard watches them. Harlan is examining something with a magnifying glass, then stops as he begins to speak.)
Harlan: This alien thruster system's so weird I'm looking for a hamster on a treadmill.
Radu: Well, maybe someday we'll meet the aliens who designed the Christa and we can ask them to explain it.
Harlan: I'll add that to my list of somedays. Like, someday, we'll get home. Someday, I'll be a STARDOG -
Goddard: - someday you'll learn how to pilot this ship. Listen. Our maneuvers and course corrections take too long. If we could make the thrusters more efficient, do you know what that means?
Radu: No, but if you hum a few bars, I could screw it in a light bulb.
(Everyone looks at him funny.)
Radu: It was a joke.
Goddard: It means we get home faster. It also means we that have enough maneuverability to safely approach that comet Miss Davenport wants to show you.
Radu: It is an excellent opportunity.
Goddard: Thelma said the yellow cable connects the thruster power to the ion glide. Radu, let's see.
(Radu pulls the cable out and the lights in the room go off, as well as the panel.)
Goddard: Nope. That didn't work.
(Harlan shakes his head and shrugs.
Cut to Catalina walking down a corridor.)
Catalina: (to herself) Oh, how could I have been so stupid? That was one of the dumbest things I have ever said.
(Thelma pulls away from a coil she's working on.)
Thelma: Was that directed to me?
Catalina: Oh! No. I'm sorry, Thelma.
Thelma: Oh, then you were talking to your friend, Suzee.
Catalina: No. She took off, remember? I was talking to myself.
Thelma: That's - interesting. May I ask? Do human beings always yell at each other like you and Suzee?
Catalina: No, only friends do that.
Thelma: Oh, I see. So friends are people you don't like.
Catalina: No, it's the other way around. Friends are people you do like.
Thelma: Well, then why do friends yell at each other?
Catalina: Because - they care.
(Thelma looks perplexed.)
Catalina: See, you only yell about stuff that really matters. Like your friends.
Thelma: I don't understand.
Catalina: Neither do I.
(She turns and starts to walk down the corridor.)
Catalina: Suzee? Where are you? Suzee?
(Thelma shrugs and goes back to her work.
Goddard: Radu, hold this, please.
(He hands Radu a light.)
Goddard: Bova, I'm gonna need your help.
(He holds up two wires.)
Goddard: Give me a charge right here, please.
(Bova zaps Commander Goddard on the seat of his pants, and he whirls around.)
Bova: Sorry, Commander. Accident.
Harlan: That's his story. He's sticking to it.
(Commander Goddard holds up the two cables again.)
Goddard: One more time, Mr. Bova. I assume you are capable of controlling your aim?
Bova: Let's find out together.
(Harlan grins, and Commander Goddard groans.
Outside shot of the comet, cutting to the Galley. Commander Goddard is sitting at the table as Radu and Harlan are clearing it. Miss Davenport enters.)
Harlan: Why do we have to help with the dishes? I mean, why not let Thelma do it?
Goddard: Everyone has to do their fair share.
Davenport: Excuse me. What's this I've been hearing that it won't take us seven years to get home? That is wonderful news. How much time have we saved?
Goddard: That's what I've been trying to figure out. Thelma!
(She appears out of nowhere.)
Thelma: Yes, sir?
Goddard: I've reduced the finagle coefficient to zero point three. What does that work out to?
Thelma: The Christa will be back at the Starcademy in six years, five months, and two days.
(Everyone's face falls.)
Harlan: Is that all?
Davenport: Well, just shoot me now and get it over with!
Harlan: Six years, five months, and two days?
Goddard: Hey. I worked hard on that job. Doesn't anyone around here ever say thank you?
Radu: Well, I guess it's better than seven years. Thank you.
(Commander Goddard acknowledges him, then looks at Harlan expectantly.)
Harlan: Thanks. I guess.
Goddard: You're welcome. Go get a good night's rest. Tomorrow's a busy day.
Harlan: Aye-aye, sir. What time do you want us to report to compost?
Goddard: Command post, not compost!
(Harlan gives him a "Gotcha!" look.)
Goddard: Space hates smart alecks. Be there at o-eight hundred.
(Harlan and Radu leave through the jumptubes, and Miss Davenport tentatively approaches Commander Goddard.)
Davenport: Commander? I am concerned about Catalina.
Goddard: What now?
(She takes his plate.)
Davenport: She and Suzee got into an argument about who gets to name the comet.
Goddard: So, Catalina's always arguing with herself.
Davenport: Well, it was a very heated argument.
Davenport: So Suzee left.
Davenport: Went - away. And now I'm concerned about Catalina.
Goddard: Catalina has finally stopped talking to her imaginary friend and you're upset.
Davenport: That's right.
Goddard: (standing) Good night, Miss Davenport.
(He goes to leave, but she stops him by jutting the plates she has been collecting into his stomach.)
Davenport: Everyone has to do their fair share, Commander Goddard.
(She leaves as Thelma enters.)
Davenport: Good night, Thelma.
(Goddard carries the plates to the sink.)
Goddard: Thelma, could you give me a hand?
(A mechanical hand comes flying and lands in the pile of dirty dishes, splattering soap everywhere. Commander Goddard picks up the hand, and looks at it as if to say, "Oh, for pity's sake!".
Outside shot of the comet and the ship, then cut to inside shot of the Command Post. The adults are standing at the helm, Radu is seated on the step to go to the upper consoles, Harlan is seated at one of the upper consoles, Bova is standing by the step to go to the upper level, and Catalina and Rosie are just coming out of the jumptubes.)
Davenport: (without turning around) Rosie, Catalina, two demerits for being late.
(Rosie runs to stand beside Bova, and Catalina quickly takes her post.)
Goddard: And there we have our friendly neighborhood comet. Catalina's comet, Suzee's comet... Whatever.
Davenport: (to Commander Goddard) Let's see if our young people have been paying attention in class. (out loud) Bova, name one of the parts of a comet.
Bova: The nucleus. That's the head.
Davenport: Correct. Harlan, another.
Harlan: The tail. Duh.
Davenport: Correct. Catalina?
Catalina: (groping for an answer) Uh, the - the fire?
Davenport: Incorrect. The coma, a hazy cloud which surrounds the nucleus and together with the nucleus comprises the -
Harlan: - the head. As in, hey, rainbow-head. I can't believe you blew that!
Goddard: Quiet, Mr. Band.
Davenport: Comets travel around what? Rosie.
Rosie: A sun!
Davenport: Correct. The path they travel is called what? Radu.
Radu: Uh, I - I know this. E-e-clipsis?
Davenport: Close. Who knows the exact word?
Harlan: Ellipsis. Sorry, strong guy. Brains over brawn wins again.
Davenport: Correct. The comet's tail always points away from what? Catalina.
Catalina: Uh, well.
Harlan: Try and answer before we all die of old age, okay? Rainbow Butt?
Catalina: Okay, fine. I'm stupid! I'm nothing without Suzee! Happy now?
Davenport: (as Catalina goes off through the jumptubes) Well, that is incorrect! The correct answer is a sun.
Goddard: (nodding back towards the jumptubes) Band!
Harlan: Yeah, yeah, I'll go get her.
Goddard: (as Harlan leaves) Now, let's get all systems prepped so we can swing around for a better view of the comet's path.
Davenport: (smugly) You mean the comet's ellipsis.
(Commander Goddard makes a face.
Corridor. Catalina is standing over a set of controls as Harlan enters.)
Harlan: You have to come back to the compost.
Catalina: I knew that answer! I did! What's the matter with me?
Harlan: You want a list?
Catalina: You think without Suzee I'm dumb, don't you.
Harlan: No, of course I don't. I think you're dumb with her, too!
Catalina: I am not dumb! I know way more than you do, Harlan Band. I know for instance that this red crystal goes right next to this orange one.
(She moves the red crystal.)
Harlan: No, no, actually the red crystal goes next to the pink one, see, and -
(He moves it back.)
Catalina: Don't be silly, Harlan. It doesn't go there, it goes here!
(They both start moving stuff around... Catalina changing where the crystals are, and Harlan trying in vain to put them back where they were.)
Harlan: No, look, I think we ought to put this back where it was.
Catalina: And, that goes there -
Harlan: Yeah, I know, but this doesn't go there - Look, have you flipped your rainbow? This goes there -
Catalina: Stop it!
Harlan: And this goes here -
Catalina: You're wrong!
Harlan: I am never wrong!
Catalina: Well you're wrong this time!
Harlan: I don't know what the problem is. This goes -
Radu: (sitting at his station) Commander! The thrusters - they just went off-line!
(Commander Goddard goes to see.)
Davenport: Commander, you said you'd improve them. This is not what I would call an improvement.
Goddard: Fine, give me two demerits!
Radu: There's a disruption at the power junction!
Goddard: Reroute the system!
Radu: I'm trying! (he looks up) Commander, we're getting too close to the comet!
(The comet looms ominously close.
Back in the Corridor. Harlan and Catalina are still arguing.)
Catalina: (picking up a crystal)This crystal adjusts the, uh - the heating unit.
Harlan: Cat, no, that's for the ion glide!
Catalina: What's the matter, Harlan? Jealous, because I can figure this out and you can't? Let's see, this one - (pulls out a crystal with both hands)
(We cut to an outside shot as the ship appears to slow down. The next few scenes are played in slow motion. As the ship rocks, Miss Davenport and Commander Goddard lose their balance and fall, and Harlan and Catalina do the same. Everything is flaring white light.)
Harlan: You - (realizes he is speaking in slo-mo) Uh-oh.
(Goddard and Davenport have just realized the same thing.)
Davenport: Command - you - move!
(She pushes him forward, then cut to an outside shot of the Christa tumbling wildly.)
[END OF ACT ONE]
(Miss Davenport screams. Commander Goddard "runs" toward the controls.)
Goddard: Thelma! The engines!
(Thelma is in the Engine Room, and is thrown onto a console.)
Thelma: I'm on them!
(Harlan and Catalina are still at the controls in the Corridor.)
(She moves toward the console.)
Catalina: Hold your ears!
Catalina: It worked!
Harlan: This was your fault, Cat. No way am I taking the blame for this one. No. You know Goddard! He's gonna be nuts!
Catalina: I did it. It was me.
Goddard: Catalina. You're amazing.
Harlan: (whispering to Catalina) See, I told ya. (out loud) What?
Goddard: We might never have known the Christa has a system that can manipulate time! Maybe we can use it to jump time! Move quicker than hyperdrive.
Catalina: You mean, get home faster?
Goddard: Exactly! Good work, Catalina. Harlan, you can learn from her.
Harlan: She'll be my new role model.
Goddard: Did you monitor what Catalina did to affect the time warp, Mr. Band?
Harlan: Yeah. She touched everything at random, and moved it around a lot. It wasn't pretty.
Goddard: Well, it got some pretty interesting results. Say, is it getting hot in here?
Thelma: Oh, hello. I thought you'd wish to know that the ship's interior temperature is rising rapidly. Hull temperature is at two hundred and thirty degrees and rising. Complete meltdown of the ship should occur in approximately five minutes and six seconds. Would anyone care for a beverage? With lots of ice?
Catalina: I don't understand!
Thelma: Oh, well, when water freezes, the molecules slow down, and crystallize so that water forms into ice of all different shapes and sizes -
(Commander Goddard, Harlan and Catalina roll their eyes and run by her.
Outside shot. The ship is glowing. Cut to the Command Post as the three of them exit the jumptubes.)
Harlan: We're overheating! We're in a meltdown!
Rosie: (brighter pink than usual) I'm drawing in as much heat as I can! But I can't do it for long!
(As Harlan takes his post, Commander Goddard is standing behind him.)
Goddard: We're stuck in a xenowarp. Time's normal inside the ship, but the outside's still stuck in the warp.
Radu: Yes, the time shift creates a - a thermal defraction.
Davenport: What does that mean?
Harlan: We're burning up.
Davenport: We're going to fry. We're gonna fry!
Bova: No, we won't.
Davenport: (turning to face him) We won't?
Bova: No. The comet'll probably smash us to bits first.
(We see the comet on the viewscreen, still looming close.)
Catalina: Suzee, I'm sorry! We really do need you now! There's got to be a way out of this. There just has to be a way.
Harlan: Come on, we can handle this! Catalina, get over here.
Radu: What if we jump to hyperspeed? Maybe that'll crack through the xenowarp?
Goddard: We don't have enough power for a hyperjump. The hyperjump engines are fueled by ion particles.
Harlan: That's what the Christa's sails collect from stars and solar winds.
Goddard: Yes. But we can't build up enough ions in time. We're not near enough to a star!
Catalina: Ions. The tail!
(She runs and pushes Harlan out of the way.)
Catalina: The comet's tail. It's made up of ions like solar winds are, isn't it?
Goddard: That's right. We don't steer away from the comet...
Catalina: We steer towards it! It'll power up the engines, and we'll break free of the warp.
Radu: But, the thrusters are still off-line, how do we fix them?
Harlan/Catalina: The engine room.
(Catalina, Bova, Rosie and Commander Goddard take off down the jumptubes. We zoom in on the screen, then cut to an outside shot of the ship and the comet.
Engine Room. The four of them are working. Thelma is there, too. Commander Goddard looks up and is obviously speaking into a hidden microphone.)
Goddard: Harlan, thrusters are back on-line. You're steering the ship!
(Cut to the Command Post.)
Goddard: (over intercom) Now just get us close enough to the comet's tail without getting us killed.
Radu: But there's meteors in the way!
Goddard: Try to miss the big ones.
(The ship shakes as a meteor hits it. Miss Davenport falls to the floor, and Harlan falls back. Radu catches him. Miss Davenport pulls herself up.)
Davenport: What was that?
Harlan: A meteor.
(Miss Davenport faints.)
Harlan: (to Radu) Thanks.
(Harlan stands up.
Catalina: Commander? More good news. There's something interrupting the energy flow from the ion glide to the hyperdrive.
(Command Post. Harlan and Miss Davenport are jerking back and forth with the ship, but Radu stands firm. Harlan looks at him, mystified. We cut to the Engine Room, with Thelma getting shaken around as she tries to connect two cables, then back to the Command Post, with Harlan and Miss Davenport still getting tossed about, then back to the Engine Room.)
Goddard: (holds up two cables) Thelma? Black or red for the hyperdrive connector?
Thelma: I am sorry, sir, that part of my memory melted four point three seconds ago.
Goddard: Catalina. You've got a good instinct for this. Which one?
Catalina: Um - I think - neither one.
(Commander Goddard sighs in frustration.)
Catalina: No! Take the two yellow ones -
Goddard: That sounds right!
Goddard: I said, that I think that that sounds -
Catalina: No! I know this! Commander, don't listen to her!
Goddard: Listen to who?
(Catalina gives him a "Duh!" look.)
Goddard: Oh! Suzee's back.
Catalina: Yeah. And she says to fuse in the red coil, too. But you don't have to. Trust me. I'm absolutely pretty sure of this.
Goddard: Famous last words!
Rosie: (still glowing) Commander, do something!
(Commander Goddard looks at her as if to say "I'm working on it!".)
Catalina: Commander. This has to be my decision. It just has to. (to Suzee) Yeah, your way is good, my way is better.
Goddard: Okay. The two yellows. Bova, give me a strong jolt right here!
(Bova starts to sneeze, but Catalina puts her finger under his nose and only a small bolt of electricity comes out of his antennae. It fuses the two pieces.
Cut to the comet, then to the Command Post.)
Radu: Starboard! More to starboard!
Goddard: Particle count rising. Engines will be ready to jump in three minutes!
(Cut to the Command Post.)
Harlan: Commander! We're being dragged into the comet. Collision in two minutes!
(Back to the Engine Room)
Thelma: Ship's hull will melt in one minute.
(Back to the Command Post, then the Engine Room.)
Catalina: Suzee, now that's a great idea! Rosie. Release the heat into the engines. That might help jumpstart it.
(Rosie removes her gloves.)
Goddard: Fire in the hole!
(They all dive for cover as Rosie releases her heat.)
Catalina: Minimum power for hyperjump.
Goddard: Harlan! Light speed! Punch it!
(Back to the Command Post.)
Radu: We're too close to the comet! The effect of breaking the hyper injection, compounded by the gravitational stress -
Harlan: Something could blow up!
Goddard: You got a better idea?
Harlan/Radu: Light speed! Punch it!
(The ship goes into hyperdrive mode and blasts away. We see the comet explode, and the ship rocks violently again.
Goddard: What was that?
Radu: Something blew up. It wasn't us.
Catalina: The comet.
Radu: (over intercom) The back flash of our hyperdrive shattered it.
Radu: But, we're safely away.
Goddard: Good job, team.
(He puts his arm around Catalina's shoulders. We see the glow fade from Rosie, although she's still pinker than usual.)
Goddard: Harlan, Radu, nicely done.
Harlan: (over intercom) Thanks, Commander.
Harlan: But this was everybody's victory. Even Miss Davenport did the right thing at the right time.
(We see her stretched out unconscious on the floor.
Outside shot, then cut to the Girls' Bunkroom. Rosie is being tucked into bed by Catalina. Thelma is watching.)
Rosie: (sleepily) I'll be all right, Catalina. Just as soon as my body temperature readjusts. Good night.
(Catalina tucks a stuffed animal next to Rosie and sends her bed back into the wall.)
Catalina: Okay. Good night, Rosie.
Thelma: What about you, Catalina?
Catalina: Oh, I'm fine. I learned that I can do things on my own if I have to, and, I also found out what kind of friend Suzee is.
Thelma: What kind?
Catalina: The best kind. We're friends because we wanna be friends.
Thelma: Are you and I friends?
Catalina: You know, I think we are.
Thelma: That's nice to know. You know, someday, maybe I can name a comet for you.
Catalina: That would be a really nice thing to do.
(Catalina opens the door and starts off down the hallway.)
Catalina: Suzee, I know the comet blew up, but we still have to enter it into the log. (pause) How about we share the credit? - Well, no, actually, that's not a bad idea at all. We can share the credit. Comet Catalina-Suzee works just fine for me! (pause) No, it is not selfish! Comet Suzee-Catalina doesn't work. (pause) I don't know... it just - doesn't sound good. No! You won't even listen! My way is alphabetical!
(She turns the corner and is out of our earshot.)
This page created on April 9th, 2001.